For those of you who still remember me… I’m still here!

19 Jan

Battling depression since late 2006 has not been an easy journey for neither me nor my husband and my son. Under control for some time (enough to allow myself the mistake of letting my guard down) I have been on and off meds for different reasons. I began a new treatment at the end of last December and am doing much better. The only good thing about having dealt with this for the past five + years is I can tell when it is coming, and how strong it’s coming. It does make it a wee bit easier to face the monster when it shows its ugly face in full force. I’m sure my poor husband notices before anyone. He is at the end of my “snappyshn-ess” and rotten attitude –just two of the first signs that the bad fork on the road is up ahead.

That is why I suddenly stopped posting here for you guys. I feel so bad that after having arted every day for the month of November, I never did a last closing post showing what I had done the last days of the challenge. Disdain is another symptom. When I start not giving a shit about making art, that is when I can be sure I’m in for an ugly treat. I did finish the AEDM project, I did make art every day, I just did not post it here. I’m so happy to have done that challenge! I pushed myself and worked no matter the conditions or the space. I painted things I had never painted before and experimented in ways I had feared for a long time. But once the depression wave hit, I started putting things off for tomorrow, then the day after, then next week. When I found out we would be flying to PR for the Navidades Holidays, I had just done enough to fulfill the gifting needs and was spent and done with.

All of the things I made and painted then I will post here as soon as I finally get myself  and my mind together. Soon, I’m in the process and happy to be needing art again, I’m sure it will get me going and save me from myself once more. Love and art, that’s all I need, and patience from the outside world. I have been feeding off the love of my family and friends for the past two months and I am almost whole again.

I made a photo collage a couple of nights ago, it is made up of most of the things and people that are most meaningful to me, those that I am nourished with, those that inspire me (including, of course, other artist’s work). I want to share it with you, till next time

The fat lady has sung.

Blessings, Love and Light to all of you out there.





12 Responses to “For those of you who still remember me… I’m still here!”

  1. Effy January 19, 2012 at 10:25 pm #

    I’m glad you’re making your way back. xo

  2. Maisy January 19, 2012 at 10:32 pm #

    I’ve so missed you, Ed. xxx

  3. Kimberly January 19, 2012 at 10:39 pm #

    I have dearly missed you friend…this post has me almost to tears, because at this very moment I can totally relate. I have been having the seedlings again of wanting to shut everything down, get rid of all of my art supplies and resign myself to a certain “life”. It is very hard and damn near impossible to try and explain this to anyone who hasn’t “been there, done that”. I’m trying so hard to hold back and not throw in the towel, holding to hope that there’ll be an upswing soon and that maybe my head will clear a bit. Thank you for always sharing your heart sweetie, do you realize how strong and courageous you really are? YOU inspire ME for so many different reasons and I am glad to have you as a friend. Love ya!!!

    • Tina January 20, 2012 at 1:19 am #

      I know EXACTLY what you are talking about, I have that same feeling, “wanting to shut everything down, get rid of all of my art supplies and resign myself to a certain life”

      blessings for you.

  4. Kimberly January 19, 2012 at 10:40 pm #

    “feelings”. Not seedlings. Lol. Damn you auto correct! 😉

  5. Karla partin January 20, 2012 at 12:08 am #

    Glad ur on ur way back….beautiful collage… xoxo

  6. Celeste Collazo January 20, 2012 at 12:14 am #

    I always like to read what you write.I love your style, but then again I am very subjective, lol. Continue to fly, sis I need to go places with you. Love you!!

  7. Tina January 20, 2012 at 1:22 am #

    Sweetie, I am so so so glad you are on your way back to happy and arting. I have suffered from sever depression and other related things for 8 years now. I feel so much like you described. I do the same thing the shutting down and pushing away every thing that usually brings me happiness.

    I’m glad you are overcoming and healing: I will pray for you and send healing and loving energy. you are a blessing and I love reading what you’ve written. I adore your college and I am looking forward to seeing you post more and more of your art.

    Big hugs.

    Light and Love
    Tina Louise {Serenity}

  8. Carmiña Otero-Vélez de Pires January 20, 2012 at 4:44 am #

    I think I know what you feel because I spent almost 5 years of my life with undiagnosed depression. I am glad for you that you have your art as an outlet. It is important to push yourself whichever way helps you to get “out of the ditch”. I really enjoy your work (always had). I wish I could be as creative as you are, and in a way (positive way) envy that creativity… so to make up for those of us who don’t have the talents, use the gift you have to share everything you keep deep inside. It will help you (and us!). Lots of love, Carmiña

  9. Heather Boyd January 20, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

    Hey Edna!! I miss you!! – Your art is still awesome!!

  10. Maria Esperanza January 23, 2012 at 8:10 pm #

    Beautiful faces

  11. stephanie Stephens January 24, 2012 at 7:44 am #

    Aloha blessings and love sweet words nice to know I am not alone…great to connect

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